Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Ruby and Dustin have been having lots of fun togther and he's gotten to experience all of the highs and lows of staying home with an infant. It has definitely made going back to work much easier knowing that she is with her dear dad. Dustin just got a jogger stroller so that they can go careening around Green Lake together after he picks her up from daycare and we are sort of hammering out some kind of schedule. Schedule. Oh what a word. I am a person who enjoys a schedule. Not a rigid one, mind you - I can be flexible - but I do like some routine and general expectations. I like to read the Seattle Times in the moring while I drink my coffee..the NW Life section first, then sports, then the rest as much as I can stand it. I like to have at least 15 minutes on my break at work where I can just relax and think. I like knowing what time I am having dinner each night. Having an infant means that all that schedule stuff gets thrown out the window. At first it was hard to adjust to that but I really embraced it for a while there. It was so freeing to get to just chuck all of that out the window and just enjoy being with Ruby and letting her lead the way. But, I realize that I missed some of the good routines so had been trying to add them back in within reason. Now that I am back to work, the scheduling thing is out of control. Because my schedule is different day to day, I have to figure out when she's going to eat, when I'm going to pump as well as figure in the trip to daycare while fitting in a feed once I get there. It's this constant nagging fear -- What if I pump too late? What if she eats too late? Will I not have enough milk? Will she starve before I get home? Ugh. My hope is that it will get a lot easier as we do it longer. It has too. People DO do this everyday --I can't be the only one stressed out by this. Right? Sigh... Work is actually great and despite it all, I am enjoying being back. It's been really great seeing the patrons again (the kids have grown a lot!) and I cannot wait to start storytime again! So, it's not all bad. Don't mean to be a whiner :-) It's nice that my schedule is such that I don't work more than two days in a row. Anyway, I think it's just one of those things that you have mixed feelings about no matter what and some days it's good and others it's bad. I know one thing for sure....I really miss the adventures with Sarah and Cecilia and meeting up with Dannette, Wanda, Kerry, Misha and all the other moms. I guess I just have to start a new routine of outings with them on Fridays! Probably all of this focus on this is because today was Ruby's FIRST DAY at daycare. Here she is ready to go. Dustin and I both dropped her off and though it was hard, I have such a positive feeling towards the caregivers that I didn't worry too much. Anyway, it appeared that she did just fine and I am really really happy we were able to ease into this whole daycare thing. She will go the next two Tuesdays and then after that, we'll be on our regular weekly schedule of three times a week. Not too bad! It definitely helps doing it little by little. Well, my next post will be much more upbeat and interesting and less whiney, I promise! Here's a picture of her that I just love. She's not grabbing things independently yet but the expression on her face is priceless!